Sunday, November 21, 2004

sigh life is still the same... ahd to work on saturday!!! my goodness.... oh well, never mind lah... so stressed anyway.... i lost like 3.5kg during the past week or something... cant wait for this stressful period to be over... at least i got to go out on friday night before working on saturday... and man did we party hard cos it was my friend's bday....

-----------------------------------------------------------
ahtong signing out
@ |8:40 PM|
Tuesday, November 16, 2004

my life now sux like shit.... its so shitty that i cant believe its happening to me.... today's the first day of the LRI inspection and it was so sucky.... they were all so picky and irritating.... not to mention my unit's rq... oh my god shes such a back-stabber and a two-face... absolutely cant stand this kinda pple... she is such a bitch... cant stand bitches and dogs.... and sadly there are so so many here.... sigh....

wad can i say??? i feel so unjustified.. its like things werent even my fault but just because im in charge now everything is now my fault... i mean even things that were 'settled' last year or in 2002, 2001 are also my fault?!??!!??!?!?!??! alright so i may be confined if the inspection didnt turn out right.... I DONT BLOODY GIVE A DAMN!!! ive tried my best, and if everyone is still just gonna blame me instead of being understanding and actually THINKING, then i hav absolutely nothing to say...

army sux shit anyway, oh well, we shall see how it goes.... still hopefully i hope i wont be confined... but its extremely stressful to hav like 3 days of continuous checks and inspection for the whole day... its like today i didnt even hav breakfast and lunch, its just dinner with my parents.....

-----------------------------------------------------------
ahtong signing out
@ |9:19 PM|
Tuesday, November 09, 2004

alright the stupid inspection that ive been stressing about is postponed to the 16th!!!!!!!!!! can u believe it?!?!! i really wanna get it over and done with but NO, it HAS to be postponed.... grrrr.... my goodness i hate the feeling that u hav to wait for another week... will be doin guard duty tmr and deepavali with ah boy, so i guess it shouldnt be too bad..

but ah!!! cant believe the agony of waiting another week.... somehow i hav this feeling that i wont be doing very well for it but oh well, lets wait and see wad happens...

-----------------------------------------------------------
ahtong signing out
@ |9:24 PM|
Sunday, November 07, 2004

hav been feeling rather irritable and restless.... inspection is TMR!!!! i am so scared, nervous and dunno wad to expect... its like going into an examination not knowing wad is tested and stuff like that.... man i really pray to God that i will be able to pass and just get this stupid stone in my heart out, cos its been weighing me down...

so many pple ahv also said that i look thinner, and that i look run down and troubled... think must be the preparation for the inspection and stuff like that... oh well, its like i only wanna be by myself nowadays, even when im in choir makes me annoyed and troubled... i really dont hav the energy to learn the songs and to sustain the same level of energy cos im really just so exhausted.... im like sick and tired of everything now.... oh well, whoever is reading this pls pray for my inspection tmr, will update on hows that stupid shit goin...

-----------------------------------------------------------
ahtong signing out
@ |9:45 PM|
Tuesday, November 02, 2004

alright didnt go for all saint's mass on monday cos lee kuan yew wont let me out of camp.... stayed in camp for stupid water parade and stupid shit like that... doing the final tidy up before the LRI inspection comes next monday... quite frankly, ive come to a point where i really dont give a damn anymore... if i fail the inspection, so be it... if i were to be confined, so be it... the situation could be a lot worse if i hadnt worked my pants off for the past 5 weeks trying to keep things updated after some irresponsible pple just left rubbish for me to clear up... wad im afraid now is that they ask me questions on the procedures to go bout doing things... cos im the IC, and i wouldnt be too sure on some of the things they ask... just to give an example for comparison, there was a GSI inspection bout 1 month ago, and it has to do with the fire safety in the unit, out of two full pages of the fire standing order, they managed to find out the point no. 7 had the word 'not' missing from the sentence and the unit was asked to change the standing order... i mean, two full pages of standing order and they managed to know that that word was missing, wad would they do now with the LRI inspection man????

thats y im giving up hope already, im just trying my best and hope God will help me with the rest... i hav been slaving myself for the past 5 weeks and even feel sick last week, last night i had fever (38+++) and my bunk mates said i was really hot and told me to report sick in the night.... but becos i still hav some stuff to finish b4 the LRI inspection on monday, i cant afford to hav MC and be away.... darn this is so bad.... argh in a way i really wanna pass cos ive been trying my best to make everything right again, but then again i wont care if i failed cos im really so so so exhausted by now.... >_<

-----------------------------------------------------------
ahtong signing out
@ |9:16 PM|