Monday, July 30, 2007
next treatment is on the 22nd of august... wont be goin to school for the rest of the week after that becos skin will be red....
but anyhow, sigh, semester has gone into full swing with all the labs and tuts... i esp hate the fact that during the tuts we have to give presentations.. yes presentations every 2 weeks and be marked on that!! on top of that, we have to hand in scientific reports and stuff like that... i know its pretty normal for uni, but wad the hell????? i hate presentations... it gets me all nervous and stuff.... grrrr....
melbourne trip this friday.... *excited*
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ahtong signing out
@ |6:12 PM|
Saturday, July 28, 2007
it seems like going through the fraxel treatment is my journey alone... some pple might think its unnecessary, but its not, to me... its about shaking off my past, and moving on with my new life...
i worry that my parents will worry about my treatment, cos my face will be absolutely red for 2 days after treatment... but i dont want them to worry for me, its my own burden to bear, and no one elses... but yet, sometimes i feel so alone with the concerns i have, i cant voice my concerns to my parents because i dont want them to worry more than they already have about me going on treatment, but i need to get through with the course of treatments (5)...
who can i turn and talk to?? i feel so alone... i mean, granted, the redness subsides after 3-4 days, but i still worry, and my parents worry too... but i need to get it done, i have to... its not just an aesthetic issue, its a self esteem issue....
i need pple to talk to and share my worries with... God, pls help me, help me through this as i cant keep everything bottled up inside alone... Amen.
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ahtong signing out
@ |4:11 PM|
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
well uni's started... also had the fraxel treatment last wednesday, downtime was significant, hopefully there will be results... and not negative ones at that...
its funny how i can be surrounded with friends, yet, no one truly understands me... the struggle inside, the fragile esteem that i have...
oh well...
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ahtong signing out
@ |11:31 PM|
Monday, July 09, 2007
ok the results are out... im only taking 3 units this semester, and 3 units next semester.. due to some units prerequisite problems... but wads the rush right??? i will resume full loading next year.. hopefully i will also be able to keep working then too... but i digress...
ok the results, seeing as how i slept at 3am this morning, i didnt wanna wake up at 9am to check my results... but i had a dream, it was so real, in it i went to check my results and i for a credit, and 2 passes... *shock* and *horror*!! argh.... thats when i woke up, and then thinking that might actually happen, i prayed and turned on my computer... and checked my results...
and i got....
a distinction for biology, a high distinction for calculus and matrix and a high distinction for organic chem!!! YEY!!! PRAISE GOD!!! THANK GOD!!! really... phew... even though its only 3 units, i see this as a gradual training for me to balance my work and my studies, before i resume 4 units per semester next year... so thank you Lord, for Your help and guidance... thanks for all those that prayed for me, Joanna and Samantha.... WHEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ahtong signing out
@ |9:49 AM|
well seeing as how just a handful pple know about this blog, i think i can safely state here that i was back in singapore from the 28th of june to the 4th of july. yeah yeah thats right, sorry i didnt tell a lot of pple becos this is such a short trip that i just dont feel right telling pple im back and just disappearing after that... so sorry to pple like theodore and jasper... theodore, we have to have our trademark mega-breakfast at cartel again when im back during the chinese new year period of 2008 yeah??
yeah well, i was back and basically i just met up with my taiwan army friends, my gf, and joanna... thats about it.. nothin much, its just a trip so that i can extend my one year singapore airlines ticket till next year...
it was such a good feeling meeting with friends and talking about the good old days, i specifically didnt wanna let choir pple know im back becos i wanna spend more time than just one week with them, wads the use of just appearing for one sat mass and then disappearing for a long time after that?? no, theres no point in that, so i figured i will wait till next year before i come back to choir, God willing.
thu night met up with BOBS (best of brothers) jackson, elton and ernest to hav supper at chomp chomp, making our way to a karaoke pub after that and after a few jugs of beer, ended the night at 4am in the morning... ^_^
fri met up with my gf at noon, went around shopping at the orchard area and in the evening, bought myself a backpack for the melbourne trip... at night, i met up with darren and qiron for a night at (where else) WALA WALA!!! haha, but damn, e.i.c didnt perform that night, wad an anti-climax... but it was still good talking and catching up with friends lah.. indeed its the company that counts sometimes...
sat spent the day with eugene, and sunday was family day.
becos i didnt want choir members catching me in church, i went for the 7am (^_^) mass, but before that i went to confession... very important as i havent been to confession since i last came back... sitting in the pew by myself, i looked up and saw the grandeur of the cross, the rock face and the waterfall... it made me realise how God forgives my sins.. i know i have sinned, i know even before committing a sin, but i still do it anyway, but God forgave me, sometimes when i put myself in God's position, i wouldnt even forgive myself, but God did, through confession. i was so relieved and felt so good after confession, that i didnt think i deserved it, after saying penance, the mass began, and as the soothing (yes soothing even though it wasnt my choir, still good) sounds from the choir filled the church, my vision started turning cloudy before communion. i am touched, i dont feel worthy, but somehow God saw something in me and forgave me, i dunno, i just felt so privilaged, i teared... now now, im not someone who cries in public (the last time i cried was when Pope John Paul II died was i was in taiwan), but somehow, i just couldnt stop tearing and i just cant understand how God has such a big capacity to forgive us lowly sinners... i have to point out that at this point im desperately pulling my shirt up against my eyes to dry them up so that pple wont notice that i cried. i just hope that as i went up for communion, my eyes arent red... haha..
anyhow, after mass, as i making my way out of the church, damn my heart sank, in front of me, impossible to ignore, is gabriel cheow... i just thought to myself... great, is there anymore choir members around here? luckily i made him promise not to tell anyone of our encounter and everything was fine... phew... lunch was at science park that area where there is this really nice place for duck rice... it was a nice family outing... just me, my dad and my mum... i treasure every moment of it and thanked God for every moment i get to spend with my wonderful family.
monday i met up with joanna and we did lots of shopping, literally, from one end of orchard road to another, and then onto amk hub... geez, it seems that everytime i come back to singapore, there is a new shopping complex (because singapore really needs another one) or a new venue or wadever, everything is constantly changing, unlike good ol perth.. haha anywayz we shopped till both of us were tired and our feet ached like crazy, well actually it was joanna's feet but then somehow i felt it too by the end of the night... i was a good day though, i managed to buy a collared GAP shirt, a collared LEVI's shirt, and a neil humphreys book... i must say that im half way though that book at the moment...
tuesday went out with my gf to shopping (because i really havent done much shopping for the past week ^_^) at orchard, becuase i really havent been there since i come back too...... >_<
anywayz, bought a topman jumper, which i must say looks quite good and then we proceeded to watch Transformers. now i never had the urge to watch transformers, thinking that its just a silly, childish movie, but i was so wrong... joanna told me to watch with lynette, and i did... AND IT WAS AWESOME!! i so didnt excpect it to be like wad it was... totally cool....
anyway, all too soon, i had to go back to perth on wed, but not without a nasi lemak and teh peng breakfast with joanna and a fish & co lunch with my mum (dad already went back on tuesday).
now i miss singapore so much, i miss the food, the shopping, wala, church and just a feeling of home. seriously, no matter where u go in life, how many places you've lived in, there is seriously, no place like home...
i miss you singapore. i really do.
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ahtong signing out
@ |1:46 AM|
